Irrecoverably Awkward
by Maugurt
Summary: AU. For starters, she'd never been to a party, ever, and that alone was a nerve wracking thought. Secondly, it was one of Alex's parties. Like, the Alex Vause, her crush since 9th grade, the Goddess amongst mortals. Thirdly, why was she invited? (One-shot)


Irrecoverably Awkward

The thing about Alex Vause was that everyone knew who she was. And everyone knew who Nicky Nichols was, the frizzy haired brunette who was always beside the tall, raven haired girl. The duo threw huge parties all the time and everyone attended, but few people had actually held a conversation with the hosts. No one seemed to mind, though, as they had a place to get shitfaced every weekend.

Piper hadn't actually ever attended one of their parties. Partly because she tried to maintain her good grades and partly because... well... because she was hopelessly, incurably, irrecoverably awkward and with God as her witness, she had promised to not make a fool out of herself in front of the teenager who was one grade above her. The very specific teenager who she had the biggest, most dramatic crush on. It just wouldn't happen. Her only hope was to get at least a little cooler before even attempting to approach the older girl. There was just one problem with that. How the fuck did cool people act? Like, not the popular kids, because Alex never even looked at them, but the kind of cool people that got the raven haired teen's attention. People like Nicky. She seemed like a funny kind of person, as opposed to the blonde who only managed to make people laugh when she did something stupid. She didn't know how to be intentionally funny.

The only logical thing she could come up with was to dye her hair.

So it wasn't the most extreme thing and since she didn't really want to draw everyone's attention to her, she decided to only bleach it. She was already blonde so she wouldn't feel too uneasy about the change either. Alex probably wouldn't notice her just because she got slightly blonder, but it was a step in the right direction. It would make her a little braver and that in turn would make her a little cooler. Probably. Hopefully.

She looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. The bleach had been in her hair for 26 minutes, but it was impossible to tell if it had worked or not. Piper had never dyed her hair herself before. The only time she had ever tried anything different was when she was seven and her mother wanted to see what she would look like with highlights. It hadn't ended well and she had cried the whole way home, forcing her mother to make a new appointment the very next day.

Not only was she about to slightly change her hair, she had also spent most of the day shopping. The raven haired teen mostly dressed in dark clothes and the blonde could definitely get on board with that. She needed to change her wardrobe anyway so. Not too much, though. It would probably look a little weird if she just showed up the next day in clothes she never would have worn before. She didn't want to be too obvious.

While roaming around in countless stores with pictures from Pinterest saved to her phone, she realized that the style she was going for was _The bigger, the better_. She'd found an oversized jeans jacket and a cozy hoodie to wear under it. While they weren't dark clothes, the jacket being a very pale blue and the hoodie light gray, she guessed that they looked kind of... alternative, maybe? At least if she matched them with a pair of black jeans and her new doc marten shoes. She had also found a plethora of cardigans in different shapes and colors as well as a few knitted sweaters. It was hard to completely reinvent herself when there were so many pretty things that she loved so much. Knitted sweaters was just something she wasn't willing to give up. There were also some pretty nice plaid shirts that she bought. What bothered her, though, was that whatever she searched for on Pinterest, there would always be so many crop tops. Piper wasn't ashamed of her body, she really wasn't, but crop tops felt so... she felt so naked when she wore them. They simply weren't what she wanted to wear.

Piper jumped a little when her alarm went off, signaling that it was time to wash the dye out. She bit her lower lip and practically jumped into the shower, eager to see the result.

She stepped out into the steamy room and quickly got her blow dryer out. 'Twas time to behold what wonders had been achieved! Piper looked into the mirror much like she'd done some 20 minutes ago and found that her hair looked... white. Mostly. There were some parts that looked a bit more yellow. At least they looked yellow next to the rest of the hair. Maybe it just looked like that when it was wet. She swallowed thickly and started the blow dryer. It could also be a trick of the light. Probably.

When her hair was completely dry, she inspected it thoroughly. Again and again and again. It was... most definitely blotchy. Like, notably so. It wasn't just something one could see by inspecting it closely; people would probably be able to see it from 30 feet away. She took a shivering breath and willed herself not to cry. What the hell had she been thinking? Why couldn't she have gone to the hairdresser? And why did she decide to dye her hair so late? Had she begun earlier, there would be time to force her mother to buy her new hair dye, but no such luck. It was already 11.30pm and she really should be asleep already. Fuck. _Fuck_. Piper rushed out from the bathroom, fist clenched around the towel, securing it around her body. Not that anybody was awake. She could run naked and still not be seen, but it was out of habit. As she had entered her room, she closed the door behind her as silently as she could, rushing to her closet right away to look for some kind of hat or beanie or... whatever. Something that could cover the mess on her head. She almost cried in relief when she found a beige, knitted beanie in the far back on the shelf. _Rejoice at the heavenly sight!_ If she didn't magically convince her mother that she was sick when she woke up, she at least had a backup.

xxx

There were a lot of kids on the schoolyard. Like, _a lot_. Probably not more than usual, but the day wasn't particularly like usual, was it? Nope. The day was abnormal and awful and she hadn't managed to play sick. Her mother had seen through her right away. It really wasn't fair. The universe had plotted against her, as per usual, and decided that it was a great idea to humiliate her, as per usual, in front of everyone. Thankfully, she had her trusted beanie and had no plans on actually removing it. It did look kind of stupid, though, as she had forced every strand of hair into it. She looked like an alien. Like a Ridley Scott alien. The only thing missing was the facehug- _No. No, Piper. Positive thoughts_. She managed three seconds of pretended happiness before she was forced back into reality. Polly spotted her. Not only did she see her, she looked _super confused_ and who could blame her? The back of the blonde's head stood out like she was trying to smuggle potatoes into the school. As she walked up to her friend and the little group of people around her, the brunette furrowed her eyebrows deeper, looking almost... disgusted? No, that wasn't the right word, but she sure looked uncomfortable somehow.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" the other opened with, definitely sounding disgusted. Okay, so she wouldn't go unnoticed with the beanie on either. Her hair was just way too long to fit into... well, anything. She couldn't hide it. So the question was; potato smuggler or dying leopard?

"Y-You mean my shirt? I bought it yesterday and I thought-"

"We both know that I'm talking about the beanie on steroids." Piper grimaced, eyes pleading for her friend to just drop it. The brunette raised her eyebrows as if to question if she had lost her damn mind. She kind of had. It escaped along with her dignity as soon as her hair had decided to play 101 dalmatians. Polly's friends excused themselves, all three of them looking slightly amused. At least they had the dignity to leave them when they noticed that she was in kind of in a crisis.

"Polly, I fucked up," the blonde almost whispered when she deemed the distance between the two of them and everyone else long enough. It was as if she had just whispered some kind of conspiracy, what with her hushed voice. The other teen looked at her as if she'd just pointed out that the sky was blue. Not impressed.

"Really? Like the obese hamster on your head wasn't evidence enough?" The words made Piper's face scrunch up, eyebrows pressed so tightly together that they probably looked like a unibrow, bottom lip pouting, quivering a bit. She let out a shaky sigh as her head dropped. Oh, how she longed for a sudden apocalypse or a meteorite or something, maybe even a zombie attack. If she became a zombie, people wouldn't look at her hair. They would be too busy screaming and running away. Ah, what a lovely thought.

"What did you do, Piper?" Polly asked, dread in her voice. The blonde looked up again, meeting the brunette's horrified expression. She was causing a scene. Or, well, she was about to. There was a little too much hysteria on the other's face. The brunette moved her hand and the gesture seemed too slow, like time had been altered with. It was reaching upwards, fingers outstretched as they prepared to grab onto the abomination on the blonde's head. The very dramatic "O fortuna" roared in her ears as the hand got closer and closer to its target, trapping her like an animal into a corner. What frustrated her the most, though, was the fact that despite seeing clearly what her friend was about to do, her body wouldn't move. If she could just take one step to the side, she would be out of harm's reach, but while her mind was moving alarmingly fast, her body just wouldn't cooperate. _The end is nigh. Farewell cruel world_.

"Oh. My. God." The blonde opened her eyes without even realizing she had closed them. She literally just followed the other teen's movement with her eyes. How the f-

"Piper no," Polly gasped, clutching the beanie in her hands. She wanted to take it back, to pull it over her head, her torso, her whole body and just disappear. Like a magician with a rabbit, except she wanted to play both roles. The blonde heard a few snickers and looked around, noticing that quite a few people were staring at her. Some with lips pressed shut as if to stifle their laughter, others gaping or hiding their mouths behind their hands. If Piper's life had been a movie, the music would have stopped in that moment and the camera would have focused on the other student's faces and then the camera would have panned to...

She swallowed thickly as she, for the first time in her life, locked eyes with a certain raven haired teenager. The embarrassment took over every fiber of her body and she couldn't believe that Alex would have to see her in such a state. _Well, Piper. Good job. She'll never talk with a loser like you_. She clenched her jaw and yanked the beanie from Polly's hands, leaving the scene and hurried into the school building, forcefully putting it back on her head. Her life was officially over and she couldn't even blame anyone else but herself. She was the one who had decided to dye her hair at home. Why couldn't she have waited or at least gone to a hairdresser? It wasn't like she couldn't afford it. _Fuck_. Fuck her impatience and fuck her bad hair dying skills. If only she had asked her friend for help. At least it would have been a more even color if she had done it. _Goodbye social life_. The people inside the building blurred together, faces unrecognizable. _G_ _oodbye non-existent love life._ Tears stung in her eyes, but she wouldn't cry, not in front of everyone. _Hello darkness my old friend_.

xxx

So she had managed to survive the day. There had been whispers and there had been stares and there had been laughs, but she had persevered. Polly had agreed not to speak about her hair nor her beanie, but had only managed to so for two hours. The rest of the day had consisted of endless questions, but Piper had just wanted to crawl into some kind of shell or something, like a crab, and just stay there until it was safe to leave. The blonde had no shell, though, and had simply been forced to survive in the cold, unforgiving world that was her high school. Now she paced back and forth in her room, waiting for her mother to come home from... wherever she was. The woman had no shame! Leaving her daughter who was clearly in distress without so much as a notice. Although, to be fair, the blonde hadn't told Carol about her problem. But, as a mother, it was her duty to sense her daughter's misery. She walked over to the window and looked out for what felt like the umpteenth time, eyes scanning the street for her mother's car. It was ridiculous, really, as it wouldn't make the woman come home any sooner.

"Fuuuck!" she groaned, throwing herself onto her bed like the melodramatic teenager that she was. She needed to fix her hair and she needed it, well, preferably yesterday, but that wasn't an option, was it? Her face was buried in the pillow when her phone vibrated on the nightstand. It felt like the biggest effort in the history of efforts to reach for it. She might as well have climbed Mount Everest in flip flops. The notification on the screen told her that she'd gotten a text, but instead of showing a name, there were only numbers. So, she'd gotten a text from a number she didn't have? Dread started pooling in her stomach and as always, the worst case scenarios flashed in her mind. Had her mother been in an accident? No, the person would've called if that was the case. Had her grandmother gotten herself a new phone and needed help with it? No, she would have called from her old phone if she needed help. What if someone at school had decided that they wanted to harass her for her ugly hair. Was she about to become a victim of cyber bullying? She unlocked her phone, the curiosity getting the better of her, and opened the app to read the message.

"You are hereby formally invited to my soiree this coming Friday at 9 p.m.," the blonde read aloud, furrowing her eyebrows. Had someone texted the wrong person? She couldn't think of one person that would write in such a formal way. And who even had soirees? There had to be some kind of mistake. She kept reading, propping herself up on her elbows. "Please note that you may not bring a bad mood nor responsibility." Okay, what the actual fuck? "You may, however, bring as much beverage as you wish and also note that you may not leave my house without being completely shitfaced. You know where to be. /Nichols." Piper's heart stopped, or tried to emigrate via her throat. Probably both. She had a still heart in her esophagus and it was highly uncomfortable. Thank God that the muscles prevented the organ from leaving her body.

Okay, so, yeah... She had been invited to one of Alex's parties, technically Nicky's, and she wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel about it. For starters, she'd never been to a party, _ever_ , and that alone was a nerve wracking thought. Secondly, it was one of Alex's parties. Like, _the Alex Vause_ , her crush since 9th grade, the Goddess amongst mortals. Thirdly, why was she invited? How had the brunette gotten her number? Why had she wanted her number? Was it some kind of elaborate scheme to further humiliate her? Piper re-read the message again and again _and again_ , deducting that it wasn't a personal message at least. It looked too much like a chain mail type of thing. So she hadn't been specifically chosen, therefore, it wasn't to mortify her. Probably. Unless the duo figured out that the blonde would be suspicious had she been personally invited and formulated the invite to make it look less personal. God, why was she so stressed over the fact that the older teens finally knew that she existed? Probably because they hadn't noticed her before her personal Armageddon. What if they actually invited her to mock her? No, they weren't like that... right? She didn't actually know them and she didn't know anyone who did either. Polly had been to their parties, but she'd never seen them. Although, she probably hadn't looked for them either, busy with Pete, Piper presumed. The blonde had no way of knowing their intentions, but she didn't want to assume the worst. What if her failed attempt at being a little cooler wasn't such a failed attempt after all? What if she, despite her mental breakdown, had seemed like a person Alex would want to hang out with? What if she went to the party and- _What the fuck_ _d_ _o people wear to parties._

Piper bolted up from her bed and ran to the wardrobe, ripped the door open to view the innards. She had no clothes fit for a party! Or did she? Could she wear, like, regular clothes or was she supposed to wear a dress? No, she wasn't three. But if she wore a sexy dress maybe? But what would constitute as a sexy dress? Was she a sexy person? How was she supposed to know what to wear? Would she have to watch every teen movie known to mankind just to figure out what the hell she was supposed to wear? Or maybe just the latest ones... She doubted that movies like Clueless would give an accurate reflection of what was considered sexy, or cool or whatever. Piper had never seen herself as a person with bad taste, but looking into her wardrobe told her that she was kind of a wallflower, despite the new clothes. There was nothing really personal, nothing that described her as a person. Everything she had could be seen in stock photos. What a sad reality check. She took a shirt from one of the hangers, inspecting it. It had a floral pattern and reminded her of the old curtains that her grandmother used to have in the guestroom.

"What the fuck?" she breathed, throwing the garment to the floor. Why did she still have that old shirt? It was an insult to fashion. She did the same to probably 60% of the clothes in her wardrobe, ending up in the midst of the pile, heaving like she just ran a marathon. It was ridiculous how much crap she had amassed. The worst part was that she hadn't even considered it crap when she bought it. But was it crap, though, or was she just being dramatic? She picked up a pair of jeans that looked like they belonged in the 90s, and not in the cute, nostalgic kind of way, but like she'd went back in time solely to buy an awful pair of jeans. There was nothing dramatic in her realization. She did indeed possess some awful garments.

The blonde lay down in her newly created fabric cemetery and stared up at the ceiling. There was not enough time to buy more clothes. She could go before her mother came home, though... No. No she couldn't. How had she forgotten about the reason for her shitty mood? Her hair looked like something had died on her head. She couldn't possibly leave the house in that condition. It was simply impossible, unless she went to the hairdresser. That was the only way for her to leave the comfort of the house. She gave out a short laugh, sound verging on hysteric. It sounded so strange in her ears, like it came from another source. As if to somehow prove to herself that the sound had come from someplace other than her mouth, she laughed again, louder. It was still foreign and it stressed her out. She could confirm that it had indeed bubbled up from her esophagus, yet it still sounded like someone else's laughter.

The door to her room swung open, making Piper almost die of a heart attack. Her mother was visible in the doorway, eyes wide in shock as she watched her daughter on a pile of clothes. The blonde looked at her mother almost sheepishly, suddenly very aware of her unusual behavior. She sat up, all the while keeping steady eye contact with the other.

"I'm sorry?" Although it wasn't on purpose, the phrase sounded more like a question than an actual apology. She didn't really know why she wanted to apologize, though, but it just felt important to do so.

"Piper Elisabeth Chapman," the woman said sternly, seemingly still more shocked than angry. The teenager's body slumped down, making her look like a hurt puppy. She looked at the mess she had created and then up to her mother again, pout growing by each passing second.

"While I don't understand why all your clothes are on the floor," Carol began. "Your hair is what you'll have to explain." Piper swallowed thickly, planning what to say carefully. Her mother was a woman who cared about other people's opinions, maybe a bit too much. Image was very important to her and the fact that her daughter's hair looked like an extinct animal probably rubbed her the wrong way.

"I, uh... wanted to try something new?" Again, the blonde phrased it like a question. Her mother did not look convinced. The woman crossed her arms over her chest and raised one eyebrow, a gesture that had become somewhat of an heirloom. Constance, her grandmother, did the same thing when skeptic and Piper had also started honoring the family tradition.

"And you decided that blotchy hair was a good look?" The teen felt how her cheeks heated up, ashamed of her stupidity.

"No, I just... I wanted to bleach my hair, but I, uh... I did it myself." The last words were mumbled. It was pretty obvious, considering the result, and yet again, she wanted to sink into the underground and just stay there, make a sweet little home in the dirt with moles as neighbors. They wouldn't judge her. Especially since they were blind and couldn't see the mess on her head. Just her and the moles sounded just fine.

"Piper, darling. Never do that again," Carol ordered, shaking her head. "We need to get you to a salon." At that, the blonde perched up, all previous thoughts about dark dens nothing but distant memories. She would fix her hair and go to the party and she would confess- _Whoa, not so fast there_. So, game plan. Salon, Pinterest again, new clothes and she was good to go.

xxx

It was Friday. Two days prior, she'd endured a whole school day of whispers and stares. Two days prior, she'd had a melt down. Two days prior, she'd gotten an invitation to _the party_. Thankfully, her hair wasn't a mess anymore. Her mother had taken her to the hairdresser right away and Piper couldn't be more pleased with the result. Despite her mother's halfhearted protests, she'd gotten most of her hair a very light blonde color while the roots were as close to her natural color as possible. She could have gone all in and asked for a completely different color, but she figured that it would be better to keep it close to the natural color. That way, she wouldn't have to do retouches, she could just let her hair grow without it looking stupid.

She took a shaky breath before inspecting her outfit in the full body mirror in her room. For the tenth time. Or maybe the fiftieth.

"You still look the same as five minutes ago, you know," came from the bed. Piper turned around to glare at her brother who grinned while forcing a fistful of popcorn into his mouth. He just shook his head in return, munching away happily. The thing was, Cal had no idea the amount of pressure she was under. He had never been through her level of anxiety as he had never been to an actual party. Not that she had either, but that was beside the point. She sighed heavily before smoothing out the front of her burgundy skirt. It was as smooth as it could be, she knew because she had ironed it at least three times, but she still insisted on stretching the fabric out now and then, just to be sure. The white, knitted sweater that she was wearing was in no need of ironing, she honestly wasn't sure if it was possible to do so without ruining it, and neither was the black knee socks.

"Are you sure that this is fine?" she asked nervously, turning back to the mirror again. Her make up was still intact and so was her soft curls, the curls she had spent over an hour trying to get _just right_. Cal mumbled something that sounded like an affirmative, but it was hard to tell when his mouth was filled with popcorn. As had been proven, Piper wasn't the most fashionable person in the world, but she had spent a lot of time on Pinterest again, looking for something she could pull off, and if her search history contained the words; lesbian, chic and party, she would never tell a soul. After maybe an hour or so, she had found a picture of a girl with clothes that she not only liked, but felt like she could look good in. So it was a simple outfit, but she didn't want to over-dress for a house party.

"You know how big this is for me," she said, reminding her brother of the stakes.

"For the love of God, Pipes, _I know_." Cal sounded almost annoyed. "It's not like you've been talking about it for two days straight, pun intended." Piper almost turned around to give the other an insulted glare, but he was right. Unfortunately. She _had_ pestered him more than usual since she got the invitation. When she'd gotten home from the mall Wednesday evening, she'd entered Cal's room to talk about everything that had happened and the day after, she'd done the same. Her brother already knew everything she knew about Alex, but that hadn't stopped her from talking about her anyway. While her younger brother probably hadn't listened much, it still felt nice to rant to someone. _As if she hadn't already done that to Polly_.

"But it's _her_ party, Cal!" she whined, facing the younger teen again. He rolled his eyes and put down the empty bowl on the bed before speaking.

"Didn't you say that it was Nichols' party?" Now it was her time to roll her eyes.

"You know what I mean," she sighed. Piper looked over to her nightstand to see what time it was. 8.15 p.m.. Maybe it would be better to just stay at home. Polly would understand. Polly would be fine. She started fiddling with her necklace, a nervous habit of hers. The small locket felt smooth between her fingers, like it was worn from her constant tinkering. It wasn't, though. If she really concentrated, she could feel the engraved pattern of a rose. Her other grandmother, Celeste, gave it to her when she was born, but she hadn't started wearing it until she was ten. The chain had been replaced as she wasn't as small as back then, but the locket could never be replaced, would never be replaced.

"Pipes?" Cal said, sounding like he had been trying to call out to her for a while.

"Hm?" she answered ever so eloquently.

"Maybe you should go down? It's 8.25." Piper looked at the clock again, eyes wide as she realized that her brother was right. How had she just zoned out for ten minutes? _Fuck_. She gathered her things and put on her black postman shoes. Why she hadn't put them on earlier, she would never know. Cal let out a snort as she left her room and hurried down the stairs.

"Leave my room, Cal!" she warned loudly, making sure that he heard her. "And take the bowl with you!" Piper always made sure to be as loud as possible when she warned her younger brother. If he chose not listen, she had every right to hit him as she gave a fair warning beforehand. There were a few small thumps followed by the sound of her door being shut before she heard the distinct sound of Cal's door being opened and closed. His door creaked a little and she always listened for that sound when she knew that her brother had been in her room. It was fine as long as she was there with him, but she didn't want him snooping around while she was out.

She was about to call out to her mother when the woman entered the hallway.

"Aren't you a little over-dressed for a sleep over?" Carol asked, but thankfully without any suspicion in her voice. Piper just shrugged and put on her jacket, successfully avoiding the subject. The two of them made their way to the car and before the blonde had any time to change her mind, her mother pulled into the curb by Polly's house. How the car ride had come to a halt so soon was beyond her. It felt like they just sat down in the vehicle, for Christ's sake! She gave her mother a quick hug before stepping out into the cold February evening. It was really happening. The brunette and her would actually attend a party together.

Piper watched as Carol drove away, the soft sound of the engine getting fainter by the second. She sighed, seeing her breath become a transparent cloud in front of her and followed it with her eyes as it rose higher and higher. The stars hung above her like a comforting nightlight, disrupting the otherwise black sky. When she was a kid, she used to try to count all the stars whenever she felt anxious about something. It would help her relax as it took her mind off of things. Unfortunately, it seldom worked nowadays. If anything, the void above her would make her mind wander and instead of calming down, she got so worked up over the vastness and all the endless questions about the unknown. There was so much to explore, more than she could even comprehend and unfortunately, not even half of her questions would be answered during her lifetime.

Her train of thoughts was cut short by a harkle from beside her. She jumped a bit, facing the way the sound had come from. Polly stood beside her with eyebrows raised in a silent question. Right, it might have looked a bit weird seeing her best friend out in the cold, staring up at the sky like some lunatic.

"It's cold," the blonde said lamely as if that would explain her behavior. It had nothing to do with why she had stared into the abyss above their heads, but it was true. Just a random statement. A very obvious statement.

"We could go inside for some hot cocoa and maybe watch a mo-"

"Don't even try," the brunette interrupted. Piper furrowed her eyebrows anxiously, shoulders slumping slightly. She wasn't ready for her first party, dammit. Much less a party where the raven haired teen would be, a party she would be hosting.

"Just talk to her," Polly said, voice soft as if she was talking to a small child. To be fair, she kind of acted like a child so the other teen couldn't really be blamed, now could she? Before the blonde could protest, her friend hooked their arms together and started walking toward the sidewalk. It wouldn't be a long walk. Maybe five minutes, tops. Unless she fell and broke a leg. Breaking limbs wasn't something she particularly wanted to do, but it seemed kind of welcoming as they walked down the street. A broken leg meant a night at the hospital instead of a night amongst drunk teenagers. Why had she agreed to go with Polly again?

There were people standing with too little clothes outside the big mansion. Some were singing loudly and others already stood bent over bushes and puked. It looked just like a scene from some teenage movie except for the fact that said movies often took place during the summer and not in early February. The ground was covered in a thin layer of snow, yet people seemed more than happy to remove both shirts and pants. _What the fuck?_ The two of them entered the house and was met by a wall of people and loud music blaring around them. Not one person seemed to be without a bottle or cup or glass and if she wasn't completely mistaken, a guy walking past them drank from an expensive looking vase. Piper turned to her friend who had a smile from ear to ear and she said something, but she couldn't tell what. There was too much noise around them. Polly started making her way through the crowd and the blonde could do nothing but follow. She held the other's hand in a vice like grip as to not lose her and so far, it worked.

They stopped suddenly and it took a while for her to realize why. It was hard to tell who, but the brunette seemed to be talking to a guy, most likely Pete. Her friend turned to her and spoke again, but her words fell on deaf ears. When she realized that the blonde couldn't hear her, she made a gesture with her hand, indicating that they should get something to drink. She would need it if she was going to survive.

They had found an empty couch where they sat down, and by found it meant that they had watched over it like vultures until the occupants moved. Polly and Pete seemed to be discussing something very interesting because neither of them seemed even a little interested in her. Not that she blamed them. They were so very obviously in love that it was ridiculous that they weren't official yet.

The blonde had already emptied two solo cups and was sipping on the content of her third. As she wasn't really used to drinking, the alcohol had already taken effect. Her body felt warm and her head was much lighter than it usually was. It was a very pleasant feeling. She noticed that the stranger beside her left the couch, but the seat was soon taken by someone else. It wasn't really a large couch, probably just for decoration or something, and four people was definitely a crowd. The person beside her was so close even if she was practically glued to her friend's side. Piper shifted in her seat, glancing at the stranger beside her.

Mistake. Huge mistake.

She almost forgot how to breathe, or, well, she did for a moment, when she recognized the raven haired teenager. The older girl must have noticed that someone was staring at her, or maybe the blonde had given out some strange sound, as she turned to Piper with an unreadable gaze. The blonde had dreamed about the day that she would see the other's face up close, but as she did, all she could think about was how her own face must have resembled a stop sign, shining bright red. _Oh God, please don't let her think that I have some kind of rash or something._ Alex's perfect lips quirked into an amused smirk, making Piper's throat close up, so much so that she started coughing. The smirk was immediately replaced by worry and suddenly, the older teen's hand was on her back, making soothing circles. It somehow worked wonders, but instead of coughing, the blonde's stomach fluttered wildly. At least it wasn't visible, not through her clothes. For all she knew, her stomach could look like it was inhabited by aliens.

She blinked a few times, focusing on the girl before her. _God damn_ , she was beautiful. And her mouth was moving. Fuck, she was speaking. Piper furrowed her eyebrows and tried to read the other's lips. It was a futile attempt as she had no idea how to do that. Alex must have sensed her confusion as she closed her mouth, in what seemed to be, mid-word. The raven haired teen moved her hand from the blonde's back and _wow, it had been there a while, hadn't it?_ Before the younger teen was able to comprehend what was happening, she was being led up the stairs, the other girl holding her hand firmly while guiding her. _What the fuck is happening? Fuckfuckfuckfuck-_

"It's quieter here," she managed to hear over the sound of some pop song. Everything else was suddenly background. All she could focus on was the other teen's warm hand in hers. Piper could hear her own heartbeats in her ears, muffling out any other sound. If Alex was talking, the blonde didn't know. The two of them made their way up the stairs and into a room that probably was a bedroom. Or, well, it most definitely was a bedroom as there was a bed in there. It didn't look too used, though, probably just a guest bedroom. _Wow, really necessary observation there, Piper._ _The love of your life is holding your hand and you think about the nature of the room_. The blonde almost stumbled on her own damn feet as she, again, realized what was happening. Alex had lead her somewhere, alone, to a quieter place, _just the two of them_. Oh, the heavens above had honored her the touch of an angel. They stopped in the middle of the room, the older teen turning to her and letting go of her hand. It wasn't the angels who had helped her. It was the devil and he was now laughing as Piper's hand fell to her side again. He had tempted her, lured her into a false sense of safety, when in fact, he just wanted to make her pine more. As if that was even possible. The other stepped closer to her, that worried little frown on full display again. _Fuck_ , she was so cute.

"Are you okay?" she asked, voice deep. Piper wanted to bathe in it, drink it all up and have it swimming inside her. It was as rich as syrup and as dark as... dark chocolate? Either way, it sounded delicious. The blonde felt a shiver down her spine as she replayed the question in her head. Right. It was a question. Questions were meant to be answered. What was the question? All she could think about was the way the words had sounded, but not the actual meaning of them.

"Hmwha?" The blonde's mind flatlined. Had she really just..? The other's expression went from full on shock to confusion in a matter of seconds and Piper was met by a frown that seemingly said "Are you out of your damn mind?" The answer was yes. She gave out a nervous laughter, cursing herself for being so awkward before she sighed and averted her eyes to the floor.

"I'm sorry, I've had a few drinks," she explained. It wasn't a lie per se, but it wasn't the reason for her inability to speak, or, more like, her inability to human.

"Right," the older teen answered, sounding more amused than dismissive. The younger teen looked up again, seeing that smirk that had made her choke on nothing previously. Her throat seemed willing to cooperate this time around, though, and instead of dying or whatever, she actually managed to smile in return. _Hah! Piper: one! Universe:...a whopping quadrillion or something..._

"I'm Alex, by the way," she said after what felt like an excruciatingly long time. The younger girl managed to keep herself from answering "I know". The short, but disastrous, sentence was on the tip of her tongue, but she luckily swallowed it down before any harm was done. _Thank you, Jesus, God and whoever is listening_.

"Piper," she answered instead.

"So, Piper," the raven haired teen began, adjusting her thick rimmed glasses. "I see that you've been to the hairdresser." There was a certain mocking tone in the other's voice, but it wasn't malice. It was most likely meant as harmless banter, but Alex didn't know how much damage she had taken that day. The fact that the other teen saw her for the first time that day didn't make matters better. Piper groaned loudly and buried her face in her hands, very visibly cringing at the memory of the dead cat on her head.

"Hey, no, come on. It wasn't that bad," Alex laughed and stepped closer to her again. There was a hand on her shoulder and unless she was being fondled by a ghost, that hand belonged to the older teenager. She froze completely, loving the way the other's hand felt against her... well, not skin as she wore a sweater, but just generally on her. The other's hand in her hand had felt like heaven and her hand on her shoulder was practically french kissing. God damn, she was so gone for her.

"Here's an idea," the raven haired girl said and grabbed the younger teen's wrists gently, lowering them so that they faced each other again. "Why don't you join me on the roof for some beers so we can get rid of that memory?" Piper willed her eyes not to widen as the words really got through her thick head. Alex did want alone time with her. But why? _Screw why, just go with her, you fool!_ She nodded, maybe a bit too hastily, making the other girl laugh again. The older teen let go of her again, walking over to the bed to grab the covers from it.

"It's a bit cold outside," she explained before she opened the window. Right, roof meant outside. As in, outside on the roof. As in, on the roof way above the ground. As in, if they fell, they'd die. The house was fucking humongous. Nevertheless, the blonde followed Alex like a lost puppy, lingering a bit on the windowsill before stepping out into the darkness. There was a ledge just outside the window, as if it was made for people to sit there. It was a little too short for her liking, but she would manage. She hoped. _Please, God, don't let_ _me_ _slip and die now. Not when I finally get to talk to her._ They both sat down on one of the covers and wrapped themselves up in the other one, legs dangling over the edge. The older teen nudged her shoulder a bit, making the blonde turn to her. She held out a bottle of beer for Piper to take and who was she to turn it down? But where had she kept it? She watched as the other reached for something to her left, that something being another bottle. So the bottles were already there when they got there? She gave out a short laughter before she could stop herself.

"What?" Alex asked, voice laced with humor as well. It was if she already knew what the younger teenager was thinking about.

"You were planning on coming up here? To what, drink alone?" She realized that it might have come off a bit rude to ask such a question. So what if the other wanted to drink alone. Although, drinking alone on the roof at night probably wasn't such a good idea.

"No, I actually intended to bring _you_ here all along," the raven haired teen answered as easily as she'd been talking about the weather.

"W-What?" Piper asked dumbly, staring wide-eyed at the older girl. The grip on the bottle was so firm that she briefly wondered if her weak hands could actually break the thick glass, but the thought dissipated as soon as it had come. Had she- Had she gotten that right? Was she just hearing what she wanted to hear? Piper opened the bottle to keep her hands busy, worried that they would shake or something if she didn't do anything with them.

"Yeah. I asked Nicky to invite you so that I could talk to you." Still, her tone was as conversational as ever. Sure, the blonde absolutely loved what she was hearing, but in what universe was someone ever that open? Was Alex actually just a hallucination and Polly had just went along with it not to hurt her feelings? Like, she couldn't be real, right?

"I would have asked you myself," she continued, looking out over the little town they lived in. "But I... I was held up." There was a little crease between the other's eyebrows, but it was only visible for a second. As much as the blonde wanted to know what those words meant, she figured that it was something the older girl wasn't willing to share. Besides, there were things she seemed more than willing to share that was far more interesting at the moment.

"B-But why? Why me? Why now?" Piper babbled, subconsciously incing closer to the girl beside her. The raven haired teen faced her again, smirk back on her lips. The blonde swallowed thickly, almost fearing the answer. It all could still be an elaborate hoax to humiliate her.

"I've heard that you have a crush on me and I wanted to know who my secret admirer was." Again, the younger teen's mind went blank. She stared at the other, gaping like a god damned fish on dry land, would probably start heaving like one in a matter of seconds too. _Well, I might as well just jump now. Death is nearby after all._ Why was life so unfair? Who had told her? Why wasn't Piper killing that person instead of sitting beside her crush with a stupid fucking look on her face? Her crush who knew about the crush and had confronted her about said crush. She finally managed to close her mouth, clenching her jaw. _I swear to God, if Polly told her-_

"Besides, I think it's pretty cute," the older girl laughed. The blonde felt how her cheeks heated up. She could at least blame the color on the cold air this time. Alex fucking Vause found her crush cute. That indirectly meant that she found her, Piper Chapman, cute as well. Okay, so that was a bit of a stretch, but she would cling to that strand of hope as if her life depended on it. As she didn't know what to say, she looked out over the town and finally moved the bottle to her lips, feeling entirely too sober. She'd been kind of fuzzy earlier, but following one's crush had a surprisingly sobering effect.

The glass felt cold on her lip so she took a few gulps quickly as if to prevent the bottle from getting stuck on her skin. It didn't make much sense, but it felt logical at the time. As soon as she lowered the beer again, the bitter taste hit her taste buds. She forced down a gag and blinked away the tears that had formed in her eyes. Holy shit, she was _not_ a beer person. Who in their right mind would drink such a foul tasting-

"This is my favorite beer," Alex said absentmindedly. Piper looked to her quickly, seeing that the older teen's eyes were sweeping over the roofs of the houses before them. Hopefully, she hadn't noticed the blonde's reaction to the horrible liquid.

"Yeah, totally. This-" she looked down at the bottle. "Pabst Blue Ribbon beer is... yes. Definitely my favorite too." What was she trying to accomplish? She hadn't even tasted beer before, much less a specific brand. The raven haired girl turned to her again, skeptic smirk taking over every feature of her face. She gave out a light chuckle before speaking.

"Did you even try? I mean, a five year old would see through that lie immediately." The younger teen couldn't help the pout that formed on her face, eyebrows furrowed deeply.

"What if I did like it!" she said defiantly. The other chuckled again, raising her eyebrows in challenge.

"Well, did you?" she asked, smirk growing more amused by the second. Piper opened her mouth, ready to fire back a stubborn " _Yes!_ ", but closed it almost immediately. She didn't... want to lie. Even if they were obviously joking, it just felt wrong to flat out lie. It hadn't stopped her a minute ago, and she couldn't explain why it suddenly felt so wrong, but she really felt like telling the truth.

"No," she answered quietly, changing the mood altogether. The bemused smirk fell from the other's lips and changed into something other, a private kind of smile.

"Let's go inside. It's getting a bit too cold." Alex stood up with practiced ease before she helped Piper up. The older teen stepped inside first, holding the blonde's hands tightly, assuring her that she wouldn't fall. It wasn't until they were safely inside that she realized just how cold it was. The February air had made its way inside since the window had stood open the entire time, making the room freezing. The younger teen wouldn't have noticed it, hadn't it been for the fact that Alex had left her side to put the blankets back on the bed. They had been sitting so closely together that their bodies had heated each other up under the thick cover. As both the cover and the other teen was too far from Piper, she couldn't help her body from shaking slightly. She walked over to the window and closed it, rubbing her arms to get her body heat up again.

Alex looked up from the bed and toward the blonde, looking concerned.

"Hey, come here," she said, holding her arms open. The younger teen wet her lips and made her way across the room. She could hear the loud music from downstairs and briefly wondered how she hadn't heard it earlier. The bass vibrated through the floor, matching the steady thump of her heart. She swallowed thickly as she was but a feet away from the other. It looked so inviting. Her arms, her eyes, _her lips_. It wasn't something she wanted to admit, but those lips had been the subject of many wet dreams and fantasies. Piper _craved_ them, but she was still unsure what the other teen wanted. She hadn't confirmed nor denied that she was interested in a relationship beyond friendship.

As she stood right in front of the other, feet touching feet and faces just inches apart, she swallowed again, looking into those beautiful, green eyes. Alex lowered her arms again, seemingly having forgotten about warming the blonde. She didn't mind, the cold already forgotten.

"I really wanna kiss you," Piper whispered, afraid that the raven haired girl would reject her if she spoke louder. There was a moment where nothing happened. The room was silent and neither teenager seemed to be breathing. It was as if the world held its breath along with them. The girl before her inched closer, disrupting the stillness. Her eyes were searching, flicking between the blonde's before they were simply too close. Piper closed her eyes and soon felt the soft pressure of lips against hers. It sent an electric current through her arms and fingers, legs and toes, and straight to her groin.

The other's hands nestled into her hair, forcing her closer, and she took that as a cue to touch the other as well. She grabbed the older teenager's hips, almost as if to convince herself that she was indeed there, they both were indeed there, _together_. Alex took a step forward, causing the blonde to lose her balance and topple over, giving out a surprised yelp. The two of them landed safely on the bed, both giving out breathless little laughs. Piper managed to raise her hand to adjust the other teen's glasses that were totally askew, biting her lip to suppress another laugh. It was more of a relieved laughter than an amused one, though. She never imagined that she would end up kissing _her crush_ on a fateful night when she'd contemplated staying at home. If it wasn't for her best friend, she would have ended up missing the best moment of her life thus far. She would just have to make sure to thank Polly properly by showering her with a lot of rants explaining why she was the best person in the world.

The two shuffled for a bit, making themselves comfortable on the large bed, finally laying with their heads on the pillows. Alex looked at her with warm eyes, hand stroking her cheek gently. Piper leaned into the touch, liking the way the other's lips turned into a soft smile as she did.

"It's weird," Alex said suddenly. "I feel like I know you already." She did that thing again where her eyes flickered between the blonde's, like she was looking for some kind of answer in her pupils. The blonde nodded, agreeing fully. Of course they didn't as they'd literally never even met before, but it felt like they had some kind of connection. She wouldn't just kiss a random stranger so. Although, Alex wasn't just some random stranger. To some extent, yes, but she was _Alex Vause_.

"Maybe we knew each other in a previous life," Piper said, honestly believing that theory. If such a thing existed, they were definitely lovers or something in a time long past. The other teen mimicked her previous gesture and nodded.

"Maybe I was a queen and you were my servant," she said teasingly. "That would explain your adoration." The younger girl opened her mouth in feigned offense, shoving the raven haired teenager's shoulder lightly.

"Oh shush, was not!" she exclaimed, burying her face in the pillow they shared to hide the blush creeping up on her cheeks. Alex gave out a chuckle and moved closer, pushing the blonde's shoulder gently as if to get her to look up again. She did, noticing that a smirk was growing on the other's lips. It was probably because of the, most likely, very bright red coloring her face. Piper had a brief moment of panic as she waited for the inevitable comment, but for once in her life, her brain worked properly and she realized that there was a very good way of preventing more teasing. A way that hopefully benefited the both of them.

She closed she small distance between them, pressing her lips against the older girl's. Alex was still smirking against her, apparently set on taunting her when she moved away. _Joke's on her. I'm not moving away_. The blonde moved her lips a bit, tentatively, wanting to deepen the kiss. The response was immediate. As if the smirk had never been there, it was gone and forgotten as they moved even closer to each other, mouths open to invite tongues.

Piper's body started trembling slightly as the other teen's hand left her shoulder and moved to her waist, slowly, carefully. She gave out a soft sound, subconsciously moving her hips towards Alex, laying her hand on her bicep. The older girl's leg slotted between hers, thigh dangerously close to her privates. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy it, _she did, God, she did_ , but there were people downstairs and she didn't want to be a teenage cliché, losing her virginity at a party. She broke the kiss and moved her head to the end of the pillow to create some distance, breathing shakily with eyes still closed. There was a shift and the other moved her leg away. Piper opened her eyes again, slowly, seeing the other's confused look. She didn't look annoyed, though, so that was a definite plus.

"I kind of never want to stop kissing you," the blonde began explaining. "But it's just, you know, it's a bit much?" As the words left her mouth, she averted her eyes, focusing on whatever little detail she could find on the cover that was visible between them.

"I must sound really lame, but-"

"Why would you sound lame?" Alex interrupted, squeezing her hip as if to get her to face her again. She didn't.

"I don't wanna... like, go all the way or whatever," the blonde mumbled, withdrawing her hand from the older girl's arm. She expected rejection, but the other surprised her by grabbing her chin, urging her to look up again. Piper faced her and swallowed thickly as she was met by an angry expression.

"I would never force you to do anything, Piper," she said, tone serious, almost offended. The younger teen looked down again, feeling ashamed. She hadn't thought that she would be forced to do anything, but there had been a small part of her that had thought that she wouldn't be as interesting if she didn't want to have sex. It felt stupid to have thought such a thing, though, when Alex looked at her with furrowed eyebrows and clenched jaw.

"No, look at me," she demanded, making the blonde look up again. "Whatever you're not comfortable with doing, we're not doing it." The raven haired teen raised her eyebrows as if to urge an answer from her. Piper nodded, swallowing again.

"I'm sorry," the blonde whispered, eyes flickering between the other's eyes that softened immediately. Her whole face softened and the anger was replaced with understanding.

"It's okay. Just don't think that I would do anything to hurt you." Even her voice was soft and Piper could feel her thumb stroking her hip. _Thank you, universe, for finally giving me this beautiful creature_. The blonde's lips turned up into a small smile as she, again, leaned closer to the other girl. She gave her a short kiss before moving back again. They lay silent for a while, just taking in each other's features, learning them, tracing them with gentle fingers.

"You know what?" Piper asked suddenly, getting a questioning eyebrow as a confirmation that the other was listening.

"I think it was the other way around," she continued seriously. Alex furrowed her eyebrows and looked at her in confusion.

"What was?" she asked.

"I was probably the queen, seeing as you're clearly so hopelessly, irreversibly in love with me," the blonde explained, wiggling her eyebrows. The older girl gave out a loud chuckle, actually leaning her head back a bit. She loved the sound of the other's laugh and she loved being the cause of it. If she could, she would have it as her ring tone. Maybe that was a bit creepy? _Who are you trying to kid? You are a creep_. She had been obsessed by the other girl since she lay eyes on her, so she wasn't in the position to argue against her creepiness.

If someone had told her back then that she would end up at a party hosted by none other than Alex fucking Vause, she would have laughed in their face. Or ended up crying in a corner somewhere as she would have assumed that they were playing a prank on her that would eventually lead to her crush finding out about her obsession. She really wasn't a stable person... The other girl turned to her again, body still shaking a bit from after shocks of laughter.

"Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, kid," she said, pulling the blonde closer by her collar. They kissed again, small giggles erupting now and then. Piper didn't know how long they lay like that, kissing and talking and laughing, but the they ended up falling asleep, holding each other closely. She dreamed about green eyes and soft lips, gentle words falling from said lips, but this time, she wouldn't mind waking up.

 **AN:** I haven't uploaded anything in a while and I'm sorry, but I've had this _massive_ writer's block. I'm still kind of on the middle of it, but I'm working on it. It may be a while before I put anything more up, but I wanted to get this idea out of my head. I hope you enjoyed this little piece of fluff and I hope you haven't abandoned me completely, haha.

PS; I named Carol's mother Constance, I am not referring to Celeste.

PPS; as always, Trasigtnintendo was my beta, so a quick thank you to her. (Readherstuffmmkay)

All the love. xx


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